Want to be a motoring journalist? Karl has some words of wisdom …

There’s a joke doing the rounds in our industry – how many motoring journalists does it take to book a flight? No one knows, because none of them have ever done it by themselves. It may seem funny on the surface, but that sad thing is there’s some truth to it. Journos rarely, if ever, pay for a flight out of their own pocket. If someone else is paying for you to see the world, why would you spend your own money? So there may be some perks apart from the nice cars, but let me introduce you to the side of the industry you don’t see. As I write this, I’m on a five hour plane flight back from a launch (no, I didn’t book the flight). We drove some very fast cars, shook hands with the CEO, ate beautiful food, and were chauffeured to and from the airport. Ah, what a life. Well, that’s what most people think. While it may look all glamorous from the outside, being flown around to the latest product launches, being put up in swanky hotels and eating gourmet food, there’s a lot more to this industry than meets the eye. Internal politics, backstabbing, and gossip are not the kinds of attributes you’d associate with motoring writers, but it happens. And it happens a lot more than you think. The divorce rate among motoring journalists is staggeringly high. Most of it comes from the fact that the husband is away for long periods of time, with the wife having to look after the kids. He’s away being wined and dined by MD’s and PR managers in a foreign country while she has to maintain some semblance of family life. That doesn’t make for a happy homecoming when he arrives back from his trips. The trips themselves are such whirlwind affairs that it’s hard to know which time-zone you’re in. I’ve spent more time in the air than actually on the ground on several occasions. It stuffs up your sleep patterns and makes the mental battle of real journalism quite difficult. Which is probably why there are some people who make very poor decisions. My co-driver for the latest launch related the near punch-up which happened on an overseas trip between two motoring journos. Where are we, in high school? Then there are the journos who had to be let go because they were alcoholics. I’m not kidding. Then there’s the guy who borrowed a Maserati convertible, went to a hotel, had plenty to drink and left the car parked outside all night. During a thunderstorm. With the roof down. Yep, it turned into the world’s most expensive bathtub. After each launch, there’s a story that has to be written, and that doesn’t happen magically. A typical piece of 1,000 words takes anywhere between four to ten hours to put together. Punctuate that with e-mails, phone calls and visitors, and nothing else gets done. Which is why a flight is often the best time to jump on your tablet and get writing. But after an early start and sometimes hundreds of kilometers at the wheel, the last thing you feel like doing is writing. Pass the Red Bull, please. In this game, there’s never a dull moment. Hopefully you haven’t been put off your dream of being the next Chris Harris or Steve Sutcliffe. The experiences are rich and rewarding, even if the pay isn’t. So here’s a tip for anyone looking to reach out and start journalism for a living – be clear, concise, and make sure your grammar is excellent. If you can write well, you’re halfway there. But if you’ve booked a flight on your own, then I’m sorry – you’re overqualified.