Be warned, if you ask Karl what car to buy, you’ll get an objective and impartial answer – not a self validating one…
As a motoring writer, it’s inevitable that at some point you’ll be asked the age-old question: “So, what car should I buy?” It usually comes at parties or family dinners, and the answer almost always begins with “What’s your budget?” Then, you try to whittle it down even further with details such as the size of the car they’re after, the number of seats, whether they’ll want to head off-road, take it to a track, or any other requirements. Of course, some of the most challenging cars to suggest are lifestyle cars. Those who have plenty of disposable money tend to focus on looks and don’t necessarily care about practicality or reliability – funny how their clothes often display those same qualities. But I digress.
Lifestyle cars widen the field considerably, as there’s a plethora of good-looking options out there – meaning you can struggle to find something that matches their personal taste. But even if you ponder that difficulty for a moment, there’s another kind of person who is much harder to deal with. It’s taken me about ten years in this game to realise this. While answering their question, I had always taken it at face value. The query seemed innocent enough. But delve a little deeper and you can start to see a common theme. The question in question is this: “So, what do you think about car XYZ?” The response had usually been like one of my reviews – fair, balanced, impartial. So, I’d launch into a speech about the cars pros and its cons and usually the cons outweighed the pros. But I eventually realised that the question wasn’t so ingenuous. Let’s cut to the chase. Some people just want validation. They’re actually not interested in your well-considered answer, involving spending countless hours behind the wheel of hundreds of cars (or thousands, depending on how long you’ve been in the game) and thousands of words every month.
What they’re really after is for you to agree with them, to agree with their decision. You see, there’s a track record of people asking what you think about a certain kind of car, and after recommending that they don’t buy it (for very valid reasons), they had already made up their mind and they go ahead and buy it anyway. There was also the very embarrassing moment where a friend asked me what I thought about the Ford Cougar. I didn’t mince words and told him it’d be a bad decision. “Why, are you looking at one?” I asked. His reply was rather sheepish: “Actually, I’ve already bought one.” Whoops. Sure enough, six months down the track, he’d got rid of the Cougar. Is it time to say I told you so? I know, I know, poor me, bleating on the printed page about people not listening to my answers.
But I think it goes deeper than that. If you’ve already made up your mind and you’re seeking validation, then it’s time to have a look at your self-confidence. That, or your research skills. No-one likes a person who’s always wants people to agree with them. This dominant mental attitude is a consequence of the Facebook generation seeking likes, and it’s more insidious than people realise. Whatever happened to people being happy with the decisions they’ve made? I was always taught that the success of any decision is how well you carry it through. We shouldn’t need someone to pat us on the back or click a ‘Like’ button every time we say something just to feel better about ourselves. We should have enough backbone to be proud of the car we just bought, and not have to show it off or ask if it was the right decision. So, I’ve made a decision. The next time someone asks me what I think about a certain kind of car, the answer will always been the same: “You decide.”
Write your Comment